Monday, December 01, 2008

Wise words


‘I think people would be alive today if there was a death penalty’ Nancy Reagan

‘There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.’ Jerry Seinfeld.

‘I don’t think I’ll get married again. I’ll just find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.’ Lewis Grizzard.

‘Erotica is using a feather, pornography is using the whole chicken’ Isabel Allende.

‘An intellectual is someone who has discovered something more interesting than sex.’ Aldous Huxley.

‘I’ve been married so long I’m on my third bottle of Tabasco.’ Susan Vass.

‘When a thing has been said, and said well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.’ Anatole France.

‘A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch.’ James Beard.

‘If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.’ Dick Cavett.

‘Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’ Sue Murphy.

Quotes from ‘Advanced Banter’ by John Lloyd and John Mitchinson


apprentice said...

I love the Tabasco one, it's fabulous. It makes me think of an egg timer on a go slow.

PI said...

Anna: that's the funniest thing I've heard all day:)

Jade of the Jungle said...

The tabsasco one is my favourite too! That and Sue Murphy's.

Thanks for sharing those

J x

Z said...

Hang on, if there were a death penalty, surely people would be dead?

savannah said...

perfect for a monday morning, sugar! xoxox

Kim Ayres said...

Ah there's some great ones there - Tabasco, Erotica and Intellectual especially :)

PI said...

Jade: I had coffee with a friend last week who has two brainless whippets. I once went for a walk with them and they just run through you at high speed - highly dangerous for her frailty now. Sometimes she drives them to the golf club and then returns, without taking them for a walk in the hope they will think they have had one - and it works.

Z: you have to have a screw loose - like me - to understand what she meant:)

Savannah: happy to oblige;)

Kim: you sexy egg head you! I'm on my second angostura bitters. Does that count?

Kath said...

My two favorites are the Cavett and Murphy quotes :o)

scarlet-blue said...

I walked into this room.. now I can't remember...
Anyhow.. Hello Pat..

Zed said...

Is something on your mind, Pat? ;)

PI said...

Kath: they are both so simple and pungent - I love than too.

Scarlet: well you certainly bear no resemblance to a dog at all:)

Zed: now you've got me worried. should I have?

kenju said...

Good quotes, all.

granny p said...

Thanks Pat. I love them all. They made me laugh on a cold morning. xx

Eryl Shields said...

This has cheered me up! I like the Allende one best I nearly sprayed my keyboard with tea, even though I've heard it before.

Kanani said...

I love the Tabasco one and also Isabel Allende's take. Oh, they're all good!

PI said...

Judy: praise indeed:)

Granny.p: not as ball-breakingly cold as here I'll bet.

Eryl: it's the way I tell 'em!

Anonymous said...

Des Lapalissades ou axiomes populaires :)

The Palice says one, married a virtuous lady, itself it had lived boy, It would not have had woman.

By a speech sérieux,Il proved that the berlue, and the other evil of the eyes, in contrast to seen it.

moon said...

Thanks for those laughs!!! made my day!!

PI said...

Kanani: those seem to be the favourites.

Crabtree: my dictionary is not a lot of help but somehow I think I get the gist:)

Moon: my pleasure.

Mar said...

I love quotes! these are wonderful!!
Visiting from Michele's, hate to see the blogroll disappear :(
Have a nice day!

PI said...

Mar: I share your sadness. It won't be the same without Michele. Thanks for the visit.