Thursday, March 05, 2009

And Another Thing…


‘If sex is such a natural phenomenon how come there are so many books on how to do it.’
Bette Midler


‘Life ‘wrote a friend of mine ‘is a public performance on the violin, in which you must learn the instrument as you go along.’
E M Forster


‘It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.’
George Burns


‘I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.’
Marie Corelli


‘By all means marry. If you get a good wife you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one you’ll become a philosopher.’
Socrates


‘Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it’
Harold Shubert


‘Happiness is having a large, loving , caring, close-knit family in another city.’
George Burns.


‘Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in quiet.’
Bill Cosby


‘Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.’
Jeff Valdez


‘I don’t know whether nice people tend to grow roses or growing roses makes nice people.’
Roland A Browne


Advance Banter: the QI Book of Quotations by John Lloyd& John Mitchinson

15 comments:

Kim Ayres said...

The ones by E M Forster and Bill Cosby will get mentioned to other people today :)

Although I will not be mentioning the Socrates one to Maggie...

scarlet-blue said...

E M Forster didn't believe in learning to play instruments then?
Sx

PI said...

Kim: that's cherry picking:)

john.g. said...

LMAO!

kenju said...

I like all the quotes, and to Bette I would say...."The books are to teach men how not to be so selfish!"

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

These are great! I partculaly like the one where the three pets have taken the place of a Husband...lol! And also, Bette Midlers quote....AND, the other one about the cat...!

miss diarist said...

Love the one about children needing love - it is so true!

PI said...

Scarlet: he probably didn't have time - what with the writing and all.

John.g: glad you liked themn:)

Judy: Mmmmmmmmmmmh! She's been over here a lot lately - looking great.

rosneath said...

another one - it's in my 'dit' book but I can't recall who said it ....

it does not matter who one marries because when one wakes up the following morning it will have been to someone different

belleek

PI said...

Naomi: I'll bet you have a lot of cat stories with your little beauty.

Miss D: it took me s while to learn that when they had been at their naughtiest is when they need a cuddle.

Belleek: next time I must take note:)

David said...

thanks
I enjoyed the quotes

PI said...

David: my pleasure:)

Mary Witzl said...

I like all these quotations too, but especially the Forster one, perhaps because I've been learning the violin and feel sad that few people want to hear me play.

And why aren't more women philosophers?

PI said...

Mary: reminds me of 'I took my harp to the party - but nobody asked me to play.'
I think women are too busy - on the whole - to just stand and pontificate - as philosophers are wont to do.

problemchildbride said...

‘Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it’
Harold Shubert

My fave.