Wednesday, July 16, 2008



Reading the post Vanity Sizing by

  • Eryl
  • I was reminded of how one sometimes buys them a gift with lots of loving thoughts only to find – at worst the gift goes down like a lead balloon, or at best is looked at once and then left to moulder. Like the little book I bought MTL: – homage to husbands – ‘To my Husband – with Love’ a selection of quotes by Helen Exley. Here are some of them:-

    Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to man who makes you laugh every day, ah , now that’s a real treat.”

    I hope her husband Paul Newman recovers and they have many more years together.

    Anna Quindlen wrote: _

    “An enormous part of my past does not exist without my husband. An enormous part of my present, too. I still feel somehow that things do not really happen to me unless I have told them to him.”

    I particularly like this by Charlotte Gray:-

    How very new you were. How could I have known, or guessed, what you’d become? I loved you dearly- but you I see now, were half unmade. And surely, that is the joy of marriage – to see Time shape the stone, to watch it carve the man. I look at your dear face, your hands, and know each stroke that made them as they are. I love each line, each altered plane. How good it’s been to share these years with you.”

    A little more acerbic was the retort of the wife of John Hughes:-

    Coming across the word ‘infanticide’ in my newspaper, I commented to my wife, who was knitting and trying to follow a pattern, on the different words used to denote various types of murder – homicide, patricide, matricide , and so on. I then asked her, ‘Is there a special word used when a wife murders her husband?’

    Without missing a stitch she retorted:


    Ring a bell?

    Useful advice from the late Anne Bancroft married to Mel Brooks:-

    “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it!”

    Here’s a Wodehouse for Shane (sidebar):-

    " He’s a chump, you know. That’s what I love about him. That and the way his ears wiggle when he gets excited. Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry Sally, grab a chump. Tap his forehead first, and if it rings solid, don’t hesitate. All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains. What good are brains to a man? They only unsettle him.”

    Stevie Smith:-

    “There you are you see, quite simply, if you cannot have your dear husband for a comfort and a delight, for a breadwinner and a crosspatch, for a sofa, a chair or a hotwater bottle, one can use him as a Cross to be borne.”

    Tee Hee!

    Here’s a heartfelt one which resonates. Catherine Cookson wrote in her book ‘Let me make myself Plain.’:-

    “Don’t leave me, beloved, on this plane

    Without your hand to grasp in the night

    And your voice to wake me from sleep

    And your love to wrap my day in kindness,

    Fold on fold,

    And tell me I’m young,

    And that age

    Could never make me old”

    Louisa May Alcott who wrote my favourite book when I was a child, said in ‘Little Women’:-

    “To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing that can happen to a woman.”

    BUT Louisa – you have to be in love with him.

    One last one – for now- by Erica Jong from ‘Fear of Flying’

    “Two people holding each other up like flying buttresses. Two people depending on each other and babying each other and defending each other against the world outside. Sometimes it was worth all the disadvantages of marriage just to have one friend in an indifferent world.”

    Who said you had to be married to have a husband?


    Kim Ayres said...

    When I told my wife that if we weren't married I'd probably be stalking her, she didn't seem to take it in the romantic way it was meant...

    PI said...

    Kim: I'll bet she did - deep down - but we have to keep you in your place:)

    Mei Del said...

    if i were to marry again i shall be sure to marry a chump - my only marriage to a brainy man (who is still unsettled from thinking too much) whilst not totally void of happy times did end unhappily.

    PI said...

    mei: nil desperandum. I married two brainy men but infected the second with my own chumpiness:)

    Anonymous said...

    I was with one brainy man who wanted all the world to know how bright he was but that ended in disaster.
    I married another brainy man but he'd die before he actually gave it away that he is brainy so I get the best of both worlds!


    R. Sherman said...

    Reading these, I was reminded of something I saw recently wherein small children were asked about marriage. My favorites:

    "No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with."
    -- Kristen, age 10

    How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

    "You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids."
    -- Derrick, age 8

    Is it better to be single or married?

    "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them."
    -- Anita, age 9

    How would the world be different if the people did not get married?

    "There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?"
    -- Kelvin, age 8

    Thanks for the early morning smile, dear.


    PI said...

    belleek:; that's good news to hear.

    PI said...

    Randall: many thanks - those are delightful. Very generous too - you could have got a post out of it. But then you are so erudite and learned you don't have to scrabble around for something interesting to say. Truly the EMBLOS has the best of all worlds. As do I.

    john.g. said...

    'Don't drive under dead trees', Me, laughing my head off! xx

    OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

    These are really wonderful Pat....I'm sorry to say I've not been married and so wish I had HAD 'a mate' to feel this way about...I'm happy for you that you DO, my dear....!

    PI said...

    John.g: good advice - as we know. You can't always tell when a tree is dead can you? You are a one for the cryptic comment and this one has me puzzled:)

    PI said...

    Naomi: I know you have had a very full and interesting life. And although I know you have lost family and very dear friends you won't have to go through the devastation of - sooner or later losing one's soul mate. There is no happy ending. But we gotta keep smiling. Yes?

    Dr Maroon said...

    I was surprised at the Catherine Cookson one. Don't know why, maybe because I'm a pompous snob, who knows. I know I'm brainy, and unsettled, and now quite worried.

    Re the Blogger difficulties, I've noticed a few problems with them in the last couple of days, like missing comments and difficulty accessing the blogs. I think they fiddle with their machines every now and then. Boffins.

    PI said...

    Doc: Hats off to any northern lass who makes good.
    Don't you be worrying-I know you are brainy but I'm sure if you look hard enough you';l find your inner chump - if Mrs Doc hasn't found it already:)

    kenju said...

    LOVE the quotes - especially the pesticide one!

    sablonneuse said...

    Pesticide eh? I like the sound of that one!