YES OR NO

YES OR NO?

I was feeling a bit pressured.  As a Pisces I find decisions difficult except on the rare occasions that I’m swept along by a tide of conviction.  The last year had dented my self confidence and I was no longer sure I wanted to do further training – assuming I got my RSCN.  I had been honest with William and told him I could never love anyone as I loved Jamie and he accepted that.

Of one thing I was certain – I wanted children of my own and instinct told me that William would be a great father.  I would probably never meet anyone like him again.  He was kind, he had the common touch;  equally at home talking to the lord of the manor or a dustman and people took to him.  He had a first class brain, was honest, trustworthy and honourable.  He appeared to be deeply in love and I knew he would take care of me – like that lovely song ‘Someone to watch over me.’ Would it be enough for both of us?  Could I trust his judgement?  After all I first met Jamie aged fifteen but was nineteen before I realised I loved him.  The same thing could happen with William.

On the other hand he had very strong convictions and didn’t hesitate to air them, regardless of other people, which sometimes caused upset.  I suspected he was stubborn.  In the first flush of love I could usually sweet-talk him round but what about after we were married?  I wished Maddie were around.  In the past I had resented her interference but now I needed her ‘take’ on the situation.

Then there was his stammer.  I was proud that he hardly stammered at all with me. With someone so full of ideas and with his mind racing ahead- I found it very moving when he struggled to get the words out.  But I didn’t want to marry him out of compassion.  I prayed for guidance and the next time we met I took one look at his face and said ‘Yes.’ And was swept along by his joy and enthusiasm.

William said we should phone his mother and he wanted me to speak to her.  I think she was very surprised.  She had had William late in life and in those days a late child was often looked on as companion for old age.  William had been educated at home until he was eleven and his mother adored him.  ‘I hope you know what you are taking on.’ she said but I took this to be her sense of humour.  Conversation was difficult as she was very deaf and usually kept her hearing aid switched off.
Sadly William’s father who had been an officer in WW1 was now virtually bed-ridden with heart problems so would be unable to attend the wedding. We planned to have it in late July – it was now January.

We arranged to go home on my next day off so that he could formally ask for my hand.  One night William came to meet me on his motor bike and he was wearing an old rubber mackintosh.  He had lost the belt and tied some old rope around the waist.  No way was he going to show up at home looking like that so we had some serious talk about his sartorial appearance. I determined to take as much trouble with his appearance on the big day as with my own.

On my day off we met in Manchester and instead of going to the bus station went to a stop on the edge of town.  It was not a very salubrious part of Manchester and my heart sank when the bus came and the conductor said it was full.
‘Oh please let us on.  I’m a nurse – it’s my day off and I’m going home.’  His face softened and he extended his arm to help me up.
‘And I hope your rabbits die!’ came William’s voice from behind.
‘Right!  Off!’ The conductor’s face hardened and he almost shoved me off the platform.
I turned to look at William – totally unaware of what he had done.
‘OH WILLIAM!’