Monday, April 29, 2013

Back in my own room.

I have been trying to publish the photos below all day and just when I can't even be bothered to title - it works. Sod's law.

I moved into Lottie's room - named after my late SIL  whilst Mick and Mandy decorated my bedroom - and haven't been sleeping so well.
There seem to be two schools of thought when one loses a loved one: either to remove all traces  or keep everything the same.
I cling to familiarity but I don't think MTL would mind the heather wall.  Do you?

I have lots of cupboard space now and the charity shops are bulging.

My next project will be MTL's study. Maybe I should get a shredder.  It will take forever to clear it.
Here's hoping for a good night's sleep.  I'm taking Joy to the Bereavement Group tomorrow.
Night night:)


kenju said...

I am glad that Joy is going with you tomorrow. Let us know how it goes.

I doubt that MTL would mind your new, lovely wall color, or the clean cupboards! Good for you. A shredder will come in handy, I'm guessing. We use ours all the time.

mapstew said...

I hope you have a good sleep. :¬)


angryparsnip said...

Big hugs from Tucson.
Best thing to do is what you feel is right.

cheers, parsnip

Kim Ayres said...

I can't help but think YTL would go along with whatever made your life easier.

lom said...

I am sure he would approve.

I think I would be a hanger-on to all of it, at lest for a few months. Both my dad and mother-in-law cleared out everything in the week after the funeral, I can't help thinking that was too quick. But each to there own.

Anonymous said...

You must do what feels right for you and I agree with lom that a week after the funeral feels too soon.
Hope you slept better than I did ...

Pat said...

Judy: I'm glad you like the wall colour.
Next job research shredders. Joy go a cheap one and gave up on it.

Map: I seem to be waking every couple of hours.

Parsnip: I must try not to dither and be more decisive.

Kim: that makes me remember his sweet, loving nature. Ah well - what's a few tears between friends?

LOM: MTL's Harris tweed gardening jacket is still hanging in the garden loo and no way am I getting rid of that.

Scarlet Blue said...

Nothing wrong with a good dither, Pat. I have been ruthless about belongings... perhaps too ruthless!
Love your balcony, I've always fancied one.

The Unbearable Banishment said...

Would you ever consider a sleep aid? They have mild medications that you might consider. Personally, a cup of warm milk with a spoon of honey does it for me.

John Greenwood said...

Not too long after my Mother died, Dad got a skip in to hold the contents of the loft. Broken TVs, irons, vacuum cleaners....I could go on.

Pat said...

Scarlet: I'm determined not to take the balconies for granted anymore and use them.

UB: I have Horlicks which did the trick until just recently. If desperate I'd certainly take an aid. I've had half of one of my DIL's sleeping pills in my purse for three months.
Same goes for anti- depressants.

Pat said...

Rosneath: I first woke at 2am - convinced it was time to get up - then every 2 hours.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

I really understand about the sleeping problem---not to worry, my dear Pat....Your body will do what it needs to do. As to keeping things or discarding thing---you do what makes you feel best, my dear....What is comforting for you is what is most important.

LOVE that Heather very very pretty....I don't think your dear MTL would mind that at all....!

Pat said...

Naomi: had a busy day out today so should sleep better.

John: when I've finished the house there is always the SHEDS!

Bernie said...

I am one (still) for keeping it the same - its now four years on and not much has changed (yet)!

I had started the other day actually, within the kitchen of all places... The plan is, it has to start!!

The room looks good, not MY colour mind you, but looks nice and fresh! A new change, a new begining!

Pat said...

Bernie: good luck with that - I think the kitchen must be the most difficult.
I is nice and fresh but I'm not sure about a new beginning.

Chef Files said...

Pat, dithering and havering is not you hen. Peace of mind comes with having the confidence to know that material things are unimportant as long as the memories stay in your heart. On that score you have everything nicely under control.

Pat said...

Chef: thanks for the vote of confidence.
I'll keep it in mind.

LL Cool Joe said...

I'm not sure what I'd do. I think I'd hang on to things. I would find it hard to remove things because like the N-Dubz song says "Things still smell of ya" and I'd kinda find that comforting. Or maybe I wouldn't. I don't know. You have to do what's right for you.

I hope you get a better nights sleep very soon.

savannah said...

You're doing what you need to do and what feels right for you, dear lady. I agree with Kim about YTL. Much love from across the pond. xoxoxox

rashbre said...

Here's hoping for some peaceful sleep.

The colour scheme is very striking and makes quite a feature.

My experience with shredders is to get one that can do lots of sheets together, I got one from Staples that you can put 100 sheets into. It takes a while, but is still better than standing over it.

Even better is to find somewhere that will accept confidential waste!

Pat said...

Joey: last night was back to normal - thank goodness - so with that and Chef's heartening words I went out and slayed the odd dragon today:)

Savannah: good words to hear early in the morning. Thank you.xoxox

Rashbre: I didn't know there were such places.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Cleaning is therapeutic, isn't it?

Sleep will come again, it will. Camomile tea helps. As I type this, an ad for zzzquil is showing on tv, how odd is that?

Pat said...

GG: I find most routine things therapeutic.
I'm trusting you about the sleep:)

Marjolein said...

My mother cleared and then redecorated the house in stages after my father died. I think for her it was a way of coming to terms with it. I really don't mind her making the house her own again. I think my father wouldn't have minded either, and at least she is now in a home that's her own and not a mausoleum (my father died 10 years ago).

Pat said...

Marjoein: many of my friends have become widows over the years and two things I have learned from them:
don't think of moving or making any life changing decisions until four seasons have past and house beautifying is therapeutic - especially if - as was often the case- the spouse was reluctant to have anything done.