Tuesday, January 15, 2013


Homily for today

 
Don’t crouch down in a confined space if you are of a certain age.  If you do and your knees start to hurt do not then sit –in the confined space.
Should you get the urge to read the label on the back of your flat TV, rather look up the paper work (RTFM) than attempt to squeeze yourself between the window and the TV which is in the corner.
 
The said label was quite small and sited near the base of theTV with about five lines of letters and numbers.  By the time I had jotted them down, with the aid of pencil and paper, I could no longer move – my knees were locked and MTL began to get curious about what I was up to.  Slowly and achingly I sank to the floor.  There was no space to roll over onto my knees and after a while MTL came to investigate.

 Would I like a hand up?  He kindly offered said hand and put his other one on the TV to balance himself but fortunately I could see it was about to topple over and suggested he remove both hands PDQ.  When we had both regained our equilibrium – mentally and physically I asked him to brace himself, take my hand and I would - with the help of the wall behind me wriggle upwards.  I think if it hadn’t been for my climbing years – going up and down rock chimneys in Wales and the Lake District we may have had to make an emergency call for a block and tackle or similar.


See below.
 

33 comments:

angryparsnip said...

I so understand your warning !
So glad you remember your climing days.
When I fall, gee thanks Hamish, or if I have to get down on knees and hands I have to crawl over to something stable, balance and pull myself up with the Two Square Ones hovering with toys in their mouths. They think of course ... she is on the floor this means PLAY TIME !
Glad your fine and everything worded out OK !

cheers, parsnip

Chef Files said...

Amusing in a sympathetic arm-around-the-shoulder-by-Chef kind of way. However, my attention was detracted away fae the crux of your wee tale by the amount of what appears to be dust on the skirting.

I'm betting that within three minutes of you reading this that you will go and investigate my claim just to make sure that I am kidding on.

Resist it if you can dear lady...

LL Cool Joe said...

Ouch! I'm glad you are okay. I often get wedged behind my dj gear. So far I've always managed to break free before the end of a track!

Pat said...

Parsnip: it was the confined space wot did me in.

Chef: you know how - in full sunlight - dust hones in on TVs? I did notice the odd dust particle at the back of the TV but am happy to leave it to Sheila with her feather duster which she doesn't like me to touch. As for the skirting board - if you think I'm venturing anywhere near that corner again yeer wrang.

Chef Files said...

Excellent answer hen!

Macy said...

My life's flashing before my eyes! Who's going to give me a hand up when I get stuck?
It's internet dating or a rescue dog then...

Scarlet Blue said...

Trust Mr Files to spot the invisible dust!
Glad you got out of the tight predicament okay, Pat.
Sx

Pat said...

Parsnip: Yes I must say two little dogs licking me would not have helped:)

Joey: that sounds quite dangerous.

Pat said...

Macy: it's a good idea to keep testing if you can crouch and then stand after five minutes or so. Practice whilst someone is there.
It does tend to creep upon you but you have far to go I'm sure.

Scarlet: one might say he has eyes in his - um - posterior.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Ouch, ouch, ouch. Living amongst older folks, I've heard of all kinds of predicaments, but this one's new. I thought the kitchen-table-climbing would be the last one.

What do your sons say, Pat? I lecture and lecture my mother and the aunties and one uncle...do they hear me? Nah.

:-D

kenju said...

I have a similar situation when I try to find a pan or lid in the lower cabinets that has slid or been pushed too far back. I can't bear to be on my knees on the hard floor, so I have to sit on the floor. At that point, it is almost impossible to get up!

Gadjo Dilo said...

Yesterday there were no seats on the bus so I crouched down in the place where a wheelchair might go. Luckily the brain hasn't completely gone yet, as I remembered to stand up one stop BEFORE where I was getting off so that the pain in the knees had subsided by the time I had to start walking.

Pat said...

GG: they are more worried about me running downstairs.

Judy: you know what I'm talking about. What is worse is if the man in the family should find themselves on the carpet.

G.adjo: good thinking. Remember B.B.King's song 'The thrill has gawn.'? Should be the spring has gawn:)

The Unbearable Banishment said...

No photos!? Or link to a YouTube video? Another golden opportunity for hilarity missed.

Granny Annie said...

Ron and I try to carry our cell phones at all times. If I am outside or upstairs and one of us has an emergency we can reach one another or dial 911. Or if Ron needs a glass of tea, or a snack or lunch, or, or, or.....:)

Pearl said...

Noted and appreciated!

Seriously. There should be a blogsite dedicated only to practical observations like this.

Pearl

Guyana-Gyal said...

You RUN downstairs? :-D

Pat said...

UB: at least you got a photo of the TV.

Granny Annie: common sense that . wish I could say the same of us.

Pearl: I doubt people would read them. Would they?

GG: not any longer. Honestly.

Kevin Musgrove said...

Whenever that happens to me my partner just sits cackling about it for half an hour and then asks me to get her a cup of tea.

Pat said...

Kevin: that's so cruel.

lom said...

Sorry Pat but I did laugh, but only because it's something I have done and still do do, (I never seem to learn ;) )

Pat said...

|LOM: if I brought a smile to your face I'm happy:)

The Cloudcutter said...

Glad you're ok now! My mum is always climbing up ladders and stools by herself when she's home alone and it worries me no end. Take care dear Pat.

Pat said...

CC: I'm afraid we mums are a bit of a problem sometimes:)

Kim Ayres said...

Instead of running down the stairs, I'm surprised you haven't ahd a fireman's pole fitted...

Mage said...

You stirred up a popular topic here. With one good knee and half a hip, I couldn't have gotten up at all. Bravo to the two oof you.

Pat said...

Kim: that would make sense. The bannister is no good - too many corners.

About Last Weekend said...

Very romantic really - not a white horse but kind of rescuing by MTL. Its how you spin it - isn't it.(Think i've been in California for too long) I am getting that way too...just bought knee supports - for both knees!

Z said...

I did several lols there, Pat. Notably, RTFM - I didn't know you used that sort of expression! MTL *began* to get curious ... *after a while* came to investigate - was it all coped with as calmly as you suggest?

I had to come to the Sage's rescue the other day when he successfully climbed onto a five-barred gate but found, when straddling it, that it wasn't so easy to get down again!

Pat said...

Mage: never mind us - you two are the heroes.

ALW: lovely way to put it and true. Sorry about the knees but you could grow out of it. Sstranger things have happened.

Z:Yes it was all fairly calm. It would have been different had I fallen but MTL is very laid back and it just struck me as quite funny.
Good job you could rescue the Sage. The same thing happened to me a couple of years ago.

rashbre said...

I shall be waiting for your instructions for the Hokey Cokey.

Pat said...

Rashbre: :)

Marjolein said...

I'm glad to hear you made it out safely!