Thursday, May 03, 2012

Passing thoughts

I’m reading a charming (so far) book just now.  Not on kindle –it was a birthday present from our French son: Agatha Christie – An Autobiography.
One day her mother was reading Dickens to her and kept falling asleep.
She said the following which resonated with me and I thought I would share it:

I remember how ridiculous she looked with her spectacles slipping off her nose and how much I loved her at that moment.
It is a curious thought but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realise just how much you love them!  Anyone can admire somebody for being handsome or amusing or charming, but that bubble is soon pricked when a trace of ridicule comes in.  I should give as my advice to any girl about to get married:
‘Well now, just imagine he had a terrible cold in his head, speaking through his nose all full of b’s and d’s, sneezing, eyes watering.  What would you feel about him?’
It’s a good test really.  What one needs to feel for a husband, I think is the love that is tenderness, that comprises affection, that will take colds in the head and little mannerisms in its stride.  Passion one can take for granted.
But marriage means more than a lover- I take an old-fashioned view that respect is necessary.  Respect- which is not to be confused with admiration.  To feel admiration for a man all through one’s married life, would, I think, be excessively tedious.  You would get, as it were, a mental crick in the neck.
But respect is a thing you don’t have to think about, that thankfully is there.  As the old Irish woman said of her husband, “Himself is a good head to me.”
That I think is what a woman needs.  She wants to feel that in her mate there is integrity, that she can depend on him and respect his judgement, and that when there is a difficult decision to be made it can safely lie in his hands.

I googled Greenway – Agatha’s Devon Home and there are some lovely videos.  I tried to download one to show you but it wouldn’t work.  For anyone contemplating a trip to Devon I should think
Greenway would be a must to visit.


Granny Annie said...

Rather than go into example after example that expresses what you have written here, I will simply say "so true, so true"!

Pat said...

Granny Annie: that's three of us then:)

OldLady Of The Hills said...

So Wonderful Pat! I LOVE this quote from dear Agatha...Yes, Yes, Yes! Lovely, my dear...and Thank You!

SDC said...

I agree once again. I couldn't be with someone if I didn't respect him. By that I don't mean fear or, as you said admire or be in awe of. Just that his way of being in the world is honourable, kind and true to himself, with a little of the "ridiculous" thrown in. My husband is the one who'll have me peeing myself laughing, and the best part is, he's funniest when he's not trying to be. Well, that's my two cents worth :o)

LL Cool Joe said...

"Passion one can take for granted." But can we?

Very interesting quote! Thank you for sharing it with us. :)

Pat said...

Naomi: I'm looking forward to reading the rest ot her life. I hadn't realised we would be so compatible. You would love the house Greenway and the beautiful situation.

SDC: he sounds a lot like MTL:)

Joey: I did think that was rather a sweeping statement. I think there are quite a few frustrated wives who would welcome a bit of passion in their lives.

Forex Expert Advisor said...

beautifull thoughts dear. i like them all. really these are nice one.

Pat said...

FEA: I'm happy to have your approval:)

Guyana-Gyal said...

I must get that book!

The same happened to me when I saw my mother sleeping, except I didn't use the word 'ridiculous'.

As for respect, Dale Carnegie wrote quite a bit about it, how necessary it is in all relationships. I'd never thought about it until I read what he'd written.

Pat said...

GG: he certainly got it right. The young rappers seem to understand its importance too.

Pearl said...

Grew up with Agatha Christie. Love her.


Pat said...

Pearl: I could have sworn you were less than half my age;)

Marjolein said...

This resonates with me too, but for a different reason. My husband made a difficult decision on Friday, when I wasn't around, only he forgot one important thing... :( We're trying to remedy it though, but I think we'll make all decisions together from now on, and if I'm not there to make the decision it will just have to wait a while.

Pat said...

Marjolein:it makes sense in the long run. Hope you can put it right.