The last Goodbye

Aside

Life is real! Life is earnest!

And the grave is not its goal;

Dust thou art, to dust returnest,

Was not spoken of the soul.

Art is long, and Time is fleeting,

And our hearts, though stout and brave,

Still, like muffled drums, are beating

Funeral marches to the grave.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

1807-1882

We went to a neighbour’s funeral on Friday. Usually the funerals we attend are either held in one of the local churches or the Crematorium – sometimes both. This was held in the Funeral Director’s Chapel of Rest and it was an interesting and helpful experience. Our friend died just before her 90^th birthday which was to be a joint celebration with her son who will be celebrating his 65^th Birthday. On the Saturday of the birthday week-end, next month, there will be drinks at the Railway Station to be followed by lunch on the steam train journey (first class) to Bishops Lydeard. The following day there is a buffet lunch with drinks at their home

Our friend has suffered these last few years with osteoporosis which has precluded her from following her interests – especially gardening. They had decided that whatever happened the arrangements would go ahead and they would also be a celebration of her life.

Attending the Chapel, which is local, was much easier than the 50 mile round trip to the Crematorium and was appreciated by the, mainly, elderly mourners. My dilemma is that, although MTL and I are believers we do not attend church and I would feel a little odd having a funeral there. It was very reassuring to see this ceremony. It was conducted by a silver haired woman dressed in a black gown with a wine red scarf, who radiated peace and goodness. I’m not sure if she was a vicar or a lay person but she was just right. The small organ was played by another mature lady and there was also some taped music. At the head of the room was a modern stained glass window and beneath that was a cloth- covered table/ altar/ coffin which was covered with flowers and the floor beneath was also bedecked with flowers that her friends had sent. We all knew she loved them – especially yellow ones.

We sang a hymn, there was a reading from Ecclesiastes and then the silver haired woman spoke about the life and family of our friend. It’s a shame that one has to wait for someone’s funeral to really get to know their life. There was a reading that was read at the Queen Mother’s funeral which starts…

‘You can shed tears that she is gone or you can smile because she lived.

You can close your eyes and pray she’ll come back or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left…’

We could leave donations in her memory to the Cat’s Protection League which caused me to give a wry grin to MTL who daily curses the cat who leaves its calling card in our drive. I feel relieved that there is an acceptable alternative to the Crematorium and the Church which is simple and more like MTL’s simple Church of Scotland and my Unitarian chapel.

Say it with Flowers

Hail, Bishop Valentine, whose day this is,

All the air is thy Diocese.

John Donne1571-1631

Aside

If you want to see beautiful flower arrangements click on Kenju (Side bar)- the expert. Sadly, I am of the stick ‘em in a vase and hope for the best - as you can see. Different flowers have different meanings. Here are some of them:

Anemones – my mother’s favourites means ‘I expect you.’

Bluebell – Kim and Zinnia’s favourite means ‘Our love will last’

Camellia – blooming in my garden now means ‘I am longing for you.’

Heather – ‘good luck.’

Love –in –a –mist. ‘Do you love me?’

Poppy ‘Please wait.’

Primrose ‘I might love you.’

Red rose ‘I love you.’

Sweet pea ‘Gratitude.’

Viola ‘Let’s take a chance on happiness.’

Wallflower ‘Constancy’.

Will the Shake (as Hoss succinctly puts it) uses flowers all the time:-

‘And there is pansies- that’s for thoughts.’ Hamlet.

‘There’s Rosemary, that’s for remembrance; pray love remember.’ Hamlet

‘I know a bank where the wild thyme blows...’ Midsummer- Night’s Dream.

‘Away before me to sweet beds of flowers’ Twelfth Night.

‘The flowers are sweet, their colour fresh and trim’ Venus and Adonis.

'The fairest flowers o’ the season.'

' Are our carnations and streak’d gillyvors’. The Winter’s Tale

‘Nay I am the very pink of courtesy.'

'Pink for flower.’ Romeo and Juliet.

‘These blue-veined violets whereon we lean,

Never can blab, nor know what we mean.’ Venus and Adonis

'There will we make our bed of roses

And a thousand fragrant posies.’ The Merry Wives of Windsor

‘Come sit thee down upon this flowery bed

While I thy amiable cheeks do coy,

And stick musk- roses in thy sleek smooth head.’ A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

This is a day early as we have to go to funeral tomorrow.

Would you be happy with flowers on Valentine’s Day, and which would you prefer?