Thursday, March 07, 2013

They said there'd be days like these.


 Karen brought these for me ' to cheer you up when you come back from shopping.'

The elephant in the room.  The car in the drive - waiting to be driven.

Hellebores or Christmas roses.


Spunky little daffodils

My lovely camellia.
Bad day today: the Warfarin clinic phoned to ask where he was.  Managed to keep it together till I hung up then there was some Greek like manifested grief.  Fortunately we are soundproof from the neighbours.
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36 comments:

The Cloudcutter said...

Sending big bear hugs across your way dearest Pat.

debra said...

Love to you, dear Pat.

Kim Ayres said...

((hugs))

angryparsnip said...

Yes there are days like that. Hurtful screaming in the shower days, that what I did. And I know, even when you can't believe it, it will get better and not hurt as much.
Soft hugs from The Square Ones and me.

cheers, parsnip

About Last Weekend said...

That must be so hard to deal with, the little things in the everyday. My friend had her partner's voice as the leave a message for the phone machine thing and couldn't delete it.

LL Cool Joe said...

Oh I'm so sorry that must have been so hard. Yes some days will be hard. Try to keep busy. My prayers are with you.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

Oh, my dear dear Pat...Hard times, Hard times....Sending you Big Healing Hugs across the Pond, my dear...I wish I lived closer and was more mobile....Sending you love and heartfelt thoughts.
The flowers are so very pretty and poignant, too.....

John Greenwood said...

My Father went through similar emotions, but time will ease the pain.

Our Camelia's buds haven't even swollen yet!!

Chef Files said...

There's nothing wrong with greeting over a loved one Pat. It's only when the tears are on the inside that we need to worry.

Plant a tree or a shrub, give it your full attention and surround yourself with family and friends for those odd days when the greeting comes about you.

Sharon Longworth said...

Beautiful pictures, then heartbreaking words - I guess that mixture of hope and sadness, high and low, will be with you for some time yet. As will my thoughts and very best wishes x

Rog said...

Spring is just around the corner Pat - that will help.

Pat said...

CC, Debra and Kim: thank you - just what I needed.

Parsnip: you had it much worse than me. If you can get through it I must.

ALW: my BIL chose to keep his late wife's voice on the message thing. No chance for me - MTL avoided all techie things like the plague.

Joey: thank you. I seem to need them just now.

John: I'm sure you were a great comfort to him - as are my sons to me.

Chef: that's a great idea. I'll give it some thought and try to choose the right plant.
Our fault for settling here but loved ones aren't around when the gloom hits and the gloom doesn't hit when they are around. However my #1 son phoned this morning and stayed on the phone until I was smiling again. My younger son and wife come tomorrow which will be lovely.

Naomi: the feeling is mutual but thank goodness for the internet.

Kevin Musgrove said...

A great big bag of hugs for you, Pat.

mapstew said...

xxx :¬)

Bernie said...

Oh Pat... I love the colour and flowers to brighten your day, days, ahead...

I'm also sure that the oversight from the clinic, was simply that, an oversight, and I am sure that they were equally mortified after hanging up the call...

Stay strong, whilst it never fades, it does get better along the way...

Pat said...

Sharon : when I go to sleep at night I'll remember that:)

Rog: yes - I'm so glad it isn't the winter ahead.

Pat said...

Kevin: thanks. That should see me through the week-end:)

Bernie: yes it's just lack of commumication and she was very sorry. I'm sure it wil get better and occasionally I get real satisfaction from managing to do some of the things that MTL always did.

Pat said...

Map: xox

lom said...

Pat take your time and let the tears flow, after the tears the smiles will come.

Gadjo Dilo said...

Oh, dear Pat, I guess there will be days like this. Good heavens, all those flowers already, and here we have so far just snowdrops and a single crocus out. Lovely Camellia.

Pat said...

Gadjo: I did have a few crocii? but my snowdrops always founder.
Better today and family arrive tonight. Grief it seemms is a moveable feast.

LOM: you are quite right and I look forward to it.

Z said...

Finding some joy in whatever you can does help, I know. And I also know it's when one feels one is coping quite well that something comes along to knock you right off balance, and that goes on for a long time. But your lovely family and friends are looking after you and it's wonderful to know how you - and he - are so loved. Love and kindness are everything.

Mage said...

Big hugs from here.

Pat said...

Z: ain't it the truth?
I had to break it to two lovely ladies at the Building Soc. that they wouldn't see MTL again.

Mage: I know your hugs would be great:)

Guyana-Gyal said...

I know it's not the same [kind of relationship] but after my father died [suddenly], I never knew grief could be so horrid. But Parsnip is right, it will get better and not hurt so much.

Lots of hugs, dearest Pat.



Philip Dodd said...

Take care. Tough, tough, times.
Love, P.

mapstew said...

My girls ask after you Pat, they send their love, as do I, always. :¬)

xxx

Pat said...

GG: horrid is the right word. The suddeness sends you into shock which muffles everything for a time and fools you into thinking you are coping. I'm rethinking my decision not to join a bereavement group. I need all the help I can get.

Philip: I tell myself it could be so very much worse.

Map: the girls wouldn't be very impressed with me just now but the birds are singing - telling meto put a sock in it.

Guyana-Gyal said...

Take help from every single quarter, Pat. Friends, family, groups. Rediscover hobbies / talents you might have put aside.

Love x x

Pat said...

GG: today has got better - productive - with family help to take some charity stuff, stuff to the tip - order a tax disc and a big shop.
And as a reward we are eating out tonight.

SDC said...

I think your idea of a bereavement group is a good one. This was a sudden loss with no time to adjust to the idea. And yes, it can seem like you are coping well and then, like that phone call, you are forced to say it out loud and it brings it all home again. Talking in person to others about things can be very cathartic. When you're ready.

Pat said...

SDC: I'm going to give it a go:)

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

The car. If you can't bring yourself to go for a jaunt (and frankly your drive and that slope tested my driving skills to the limit!) practice your 3-point turns in the front yard. Love & hugs xxxxx

Marjolein said...

Telephone calls like that must be so hard to deal with!

The flowers look lovely. Is it spring yet where you are? We've got another layer of snow today.

Pat said...

Daphne: good advice. My son took me out in it yesterday and I did some driving but the weather is so awful I didn't prolong it. The car is behaving well and having all its stuff updated so I will drive when the weather improves.

Marjolein: after another letter telling me he had missed an appoinment on March 5th I rang the surgery and later wrote to a 'tell us what you think'. I hope it saves someone else from the distress it causes.

It absolutely is NOT Spring. I have never known it to be so cold. I went out to feed the birds and in spite of lots of layers could only stand it for a few minutes.

eryls said...

Hugs, X