Thursday, January 23, 2014



I have always championed blogging and regretted the lemming -like exodus to Face book and especially – excuse me whilst I sniff haughtily - Twitter .  Blogging is like having a chat with friends you have come to know and trust over a period of years.  Occasionally there may have been the odd troll but they quickly realize they are not going to be listened to or even heard.

But blogging is becoming more difficult and I am finding that operations I have been doing for years are becoming unworkable.  This morning is a case in point:  four photographs I wanted to post are apparently unpostable.  As usual I clicked on Create then publish to blogger to be told this web page cannot be found.  Often I will struggle for half a day and sometimes am eventually successful but my work load has doubled over the last year so I’m time poor and patience skint.

I apologise for not having written anything for days.  I’m in a stasis like state which I’m sure will dissipate after Monday – the anniversary of MTL’s death.  I’m trusting that my video player still works and I can play cam corder recordings taken on our travels - which I haven’t seen for years.  Then the week takes a turn for the better and our bereavement group is having an outing on Thursday to see West Side Story at the Bristol Hippodrome.  There are three or four cars going and I feel lucky to be in V’s car – at 58 one of the younger drivers and to whom I have always felt a connection.

I mustn’t make this one long moan but my Kindle has stopped working.  It’s the original one and has been showing a picture which means please charge me – something I have been doing regularly as I use it every night - but the picture remains and it doesn’t work.  I wonder if it knows I’m about to buy a tablet and feels redundant?

 More good news: our French son arrives on Friday – having spent the week in Moscow.  Saturday morning – bright and early we see the solicitor for – hopefully the final time – next the obligatory visit to the Dump and then off to Taunton for a shopping trip and lunch.  We both have long lists and he has 2 suitcases to fill so the lunch won’t be leisurely. But we are going to The Northfield for dinner so time to get our breath back.  Then on Sunday he is back to Paris.

At our last group meeting last Tuesday I discovered we had all received in the post details of Later Living Retirement Apartments which are being built at the bottom of our lane and we had all –individually - decided to attend their Information Day.  I think it is mainly curiosity which is motivating us but wouldn’t it be odd if we all ended up in the same building?  Or they could all come and live here.  I’M JOKING!
It’s very peaceful today – the door bell isn’t working but I’ve left a message with an electrician.

James read this poem at our last meeting.



Ann Thorp

I have to believe
That you still exist
That you still watch me
That you still love me

I have to believe
That life has meaning
That I am useful here
That I make small differences

I have to believe
That I need to stay here
For some time
That all this teaches me
So that I can meet you again


Ms Scarlet said...

That is a lovely poem, Pat.
Do you upload your photos to your computer before adding them to your blog? This is what I do, then I click on the picture icon and add it to the post from my picture gallery.
We will have to make a date so that I can show you properly, I know a few tricks to get around blogger! Maybe in the spring/ summer... let's get through all this bad weather first!

maurcheen said...

I hope you persist with the blogging. I have made many good friends here and am honoured to be one of yours dear Pat.

I will light a wee candle on Monday.

Beautiful poem. :-)


savannah said...

Much love to you, dearest! xoxoxoxox

Z said...

I'm sorry to have lost so many friends from blogging too, and prefer it to other 'social media.' Facebook is fine for keeping in touch with friends and family, but you don't build up deep friendships with people you've never met, which has been the unexpected joy of blogging over the past eight years.

I'm afraid your Kindle does know. Poor thing. All your books will be on your tablet, once you've downloaded the Kindle app, of course, but it must be a nuisance being without it for now.

What a wonderful poem. Yes, that's exactly it.

Pearl said...

A sweetly painful poem.

And blogging: yes. It's not a four-line post on FB, and it's not 140 characters on Twitter.


Mage said...

Perhaps French son can solve the photo problem. Yes,I agree about your blogging sentiments. You all are my old friends. I especially miss John Bailey who used to blog from Taunton. Yes, too, that poem truly touched me.

John Greenwood said...

I use the same method Scarlett does! Works every time.

kenju said...

A lovely poem, indeed.

Going to look at the group living place is good - you never know what you'll find. My MIL resisted it for 5 years and 3 months into it, asked why we didn't move her there sooner. She was the belle of the ball.

I'm glad your son is coming to help take the sting out of the anniversary. Take care, Pat.

Exile on Pain Street said...

Good heavens! Has it been a year?! Like Map, I'll light a votive candle in the cathedral on Monday.

You can't go wrong with West Side Story. If that score doesn't put pep in your step, nothing will.

If you can't moan to us, who can you moan to? What are you thinking? That we'll stop reading? Give me a break.

Pat said...

Scarlet: I upload the photos to Picasa but they seem to be losing the plot and that's my prerogative.
I'll try your way but you may well have to show me when - hopefully - you'll make it later on. I'll look forward to it.

Maurcheen: the candle is a lovely idea and I have a lovely unused fragrant one. Experience has taught me we must not leave them unattended.

Savannah: thank you.xoxoxox

Z: fortunately the very same son gave me the definitive book on Dick and Liz with super photographs so that's my book at bed-time. Another son gave me the firs two series of Dexter. Shock horror! And the third is on its way. Do you have Netflix or similar? I'm quite hazy about what I can do with a tablet but all will become clear no doubt:)

Pearl: both James and I were riveted by the poem and I spent ages trying to find it on Google.

Mage: fancy you knowing someone from Taunton. What a pity he's stopped but he may start again - many do. The boys - in their different ways - are pretty good with techie stuff but none of them are bloggers. I suppose the star is my grand-daughter Alice but she is far away and doing exams and stuff:)

John: I'm really going to give it a try. are you getting anything special for your birthday?

Judy: yes who knows what the future holds but if I had to move out I would think seriously about moving closer to the boys. They aren't getting any younger and it isn't an easy journey for them.

Pat said...

Exile: in St Patrick's?
That would be wonderful. He and I were there together doing the same thing when his niece was tragically killed in a small plane in Vermont.
Yes I'm really looking forward to W.S.S. I seem to have grown into musicals and just getting there will be somewhat of an adventure.

angryparsnip said...

I am on picasa put photos on the tray then click on the "blog this" well it hasn't worked for 2 months ! so it is not just you !
So I have been uploading them to web page and them placing them in the started blog post by clicking the photo icon. It works but I don't like the page set up. I think this might be what Scarlett is talking about.

I have been having a bad two years here and some days it is just tiring but I am trying to start each day new.

I think of you everyday.
Your friend, parsnip

OldLady Of The Hills said...

What a touching poem, Pat....It brought tears---which is good!

You just cannot stop blogging, my dear----we need you here in Blogland...and I know I need you in my life.....! There has to be a way to clear up these problems with Blogger....I so wish you had a Computer Wizard who might be able to solve these problems in no time at all....!

Your Group sounds like it has been such a blessing! How wonderful that is, dear Pat....!

"West Side Story" of the GREATEST Musicals ever....I saw the Original Broadway production three times, and I knew I was seeing something specetacular and "new", at that time.

I know this is a hard week coming up---. These are the Anniversary's no one wants to experience. I send you BIG BIG HUGS, dear Pat....and I just want to say, you are an amazing woman, my dear....!
None of us will ever really know what you have truly endured during this year---but, we hold you close and send you much love, dear dear Pat.

Kim Ayres said...


About Last Weekend said...

Yes ditto on the Ms Scarlet advice - that is what I do too. I rarely get one that won't upload, though I have to say there are so many holes in blogspot. I love that you are keeping up your blog - is it your book that is keeping you busy? Great that you are seeing your son soon. I love this poem, do you read Mary Oliver too?

Z said...

Pat, I love to think that your son reckoned you'd be up for watching Dexter.

Pat said...

Parsnip: I haven't tried it yet but it sound s a bit foreign when I think of my computer. I think years of Picasa has knocked me out of kilter.
I'm glad you are soldiering on. That's what we have to do. Keep smiling:)

Naomi: I think I read that a woman found the poem in her father's drawer after he died. It is such a help when someone puts into words one's deepest thoughts.
I don't think I will give up blogging. It still raises my spirits most of the time.
I shall think of you when I see the musical.
Talk about the best laid plans. I was half asleep when the electrician phoned and said he couldn't come till Monday afternoon and - no thinking said
Please come then. When I remembered what day it was I couldn't face ringing him back. Oh dear! Maybe I'll take the day from Sunday lunch time to Monday lunch time.

Kim: :)

ALW: you've touched a sore spot as I haven't worked on my book for the last year but one of my good intentions is to read it and see how I feel about it and decide whether to do more work on it and send it out again.
Mary Oliver is a name I'm not familiar with. I'll look it up.

Z: I've really no idea how they see me. Maybe just as well:)

Keith said...

I agree with your sentiments about about Facilebook and Twitter (I call it something more meaningful, but I wouldn't use that word when talking to a lady). If you read my last post on my "At Home with Keith" page you will see my last post on the subject.

I have relented and opened up a new page this year because I miss talking to my old friends, such as yourself. It's at

As you say blogging is more personal, and I think it is the next best thing to actually writing to friends via snail mail. Several bloggers have given me their postal addresses and we do exchange letters regularly now. I love writing with a good old fashioned fountain pen (remember them?). It makes a letter that little more personal than using a word processor or a trypewriter.

maurcheen said...

I'm back. You will never know how much you have inspired me in so many ways. Very much love to you Patricia. :-)


kipper said...

Please do keep blogging! The poem was very lovely and touching.

SDC said...

I hope you stay blogging as well, I'd miss you if you didn't. My feeling is that if you did stop, it would be because it just isn't working for you anymore. That poem, wow! I wondered from time to time if you had those thoughts. I've found myself wondering those same things. Thank you for sharing that part of yourself.

Granny Annie said...

Pat, dear Pat, this post has done me more good than anything this week. I am only at the half year mark but it is devastating. You have been so stalwart and strong and seemed to have it all under control. It is helpful for me to deal with my anguish to see that I am not alone. That you still struggle even though there are days that you can make it so successfully. That poem was soul devouring and beautiful and made me weep but with joy because it exposed my thoughts and I know I am not alone. Please, please keep blogging and God bless you.

Pat said...

Keith: alas if I want anyone to actually read my letters I have to type. Sometimes it is inappropriate as in sympathy letter so Alastair would adapt my typing into his lovely handwriting.
I'll pop round and see your new page later.

Maurcheen: gratefully received.
Thank you Maurcheen:)

Kipper and SDC: thank you - that's enough to make me keep on keeping on.

Granny Annie: thank you - your post was appreciated by the group.
Yes I know just how you feel about the poem. I'm fairly sure I will keep blogging. I just have to accept that it won't necessarily be a 3 times a week blog and its pointless to feel guilty.
Two things I wrote in my diary for Monday:
1. Don't despair.
2. I have survived a year without Alastair - with his help and his love and I hope to continue.

Mike and Ann said...

Hello Pat. I don't twitter. I do use Face Book, but only for playing Scrabble (and keeping an eye on the Grandchildren); but I do enjoy blogging. We've made some good friends on blog (your good self included) over the last seven or eight years. Please don't think about chucking it , Pat. You would be very much missed by a great many people.
Warm Regards, Mike and Ann.

Mike and Ann said...

P.s. A lovely, and very moving, poem.

Kevin Musgrove said...

They seem to be determined to make Blogger well-nigh unusable these days, which is why I'm not often in the blogosphere any more. Mind you, they're making Facebook *even more* unuable, so who knows? We may be back to sending postcards.

Keith said...

Something has changed on your site, if I click your link on my comments I get "" and it states "Sorry, the blog you were looking for does not exist" but if I type in "" I get to your site. So it looks like you site was moved, and probably not all the features like "Create" were not moved. I don't know much about Blogger, I use Wordpress, so I may be wrong.

Pat said...

Mike and Ann: I'm very glad you do FB Scrabble even if you do thrash me from time to time.
I don't have any serious plans to stop blogging.

Kevin: as if there aren't enough problems!

Keith: this has happened to me with other people's blogs but it seems to sort itself out so I trust it will do so.

Guyana-Gyal said...

I'm so happy you're okay. Please don't quit blogging [I ask selfishly].

I've joined Twitter, I prattle there when I can't blog, but Twitter can't replace blogging for me.

What a beautiful, heartbreaking poem.